gladdecease: (noooo whyyyyy)
gladdecease ([personal profile] gladdecease) wrote 2016-11-05 05:48 am (UTC)

i can't be bothered to add back in the formatting, but trust me: the force vision is italicized

There was a lot of sitting around doing nothing involved in Jedi training.

Master Luke - who’d said Rey didn’t have to call him Master, but if she was doing this she wanted to do it right - said that she was supposed to be meditating on the Force, practicing opening herself up to it. It hadn’t seemed so difficult the way Maz explained it to her, but maybe that was because she’d been in the middle of a fight the last time she opened herself up to the Force. Now, with no urgency to her need, she could feel how… big the Force was, how much there was to it.

She could get lost in that.

She tried her best, but it would be a lie to say meditation was her favorite part of Jedi training. Physical training was familiar, more or less - the stances weren’t quite the same ones she’d learned with her staff, so she sometimes fumbled her footing or missed her target by a foot, but Rey was doing okay. The third part of her training, practicing the things she already knew how to do with the Force, was far more interesting, but incredibly frustrating. Throwing something around with the Force was one thing - it turned out that making something float in the air was much harder to manage, and to maintain.

Master Luke said she was progressing well. Not that he’d been around to see her progress - almost every day he left her to practice under R2-D2’s watchful eye, going off to do… whatever it was he’d been doing here before Rey arrived, she supposed. He’d come back hours later, when she was sweaty and frustrated, R2-D2 literally unmoved, and just nod and say, “That will be all for today.”

How Kylo Ren had put up with five years of this, Rey had no idea. She’d only been in his mind for a minute, but that was more than enough time to see how short his temper was, how desperate his need for praise and attention. He must have been a disaster as a student Jedi.

Not that she was doing much better, Rey thought, holding her hand out at a pebble and glaring when it refused to move.

The Falcon was still where Rey had landed it - Chewbacca had declared that now was as good a time as any to perform some much needed repairs to her many damaged systems. The quick fix Rey had performed mid-flight was a big reason why Chewbacca had accepted her as his co-pilot, but it wouldn’t last long term. Patting the ship’s hull fondly, Rey wandered past to sit at the water's edge. She'd already learned that this water was unsuitable for drinking, in a different way from some of the wells she'd come across on Jakku that had gone bad, but the low clouds didn't sting her eyes, so it must be safe for cleaning.

Sticking one hand in the water, she shuddered. She'd forgotten how cold it was. Giving in to an odd impulse, Rey braced herself, took a deep breath, and shoved her head under the surface.

"Please, Rey," begs a Luke who is somehow different from the one Rey knows. His robes are in earth tones, with cream underneath, and his eyes - the sorrow is different. "You don't have to do this."

And she is not Rey, she is Valo Ren, and she knows he is wrong. The anger burns in her too strong, too deep - that she was ripped away from the home she'd built, waiting for her family, that she lost them forever so she could be trained in the ways of the Jedi, while Ben received the same training while surrounded by loving parents, a loving family - the unfairness of it all stews in her, consumes her.

Snoke saw this. It was why he chose her.

"It's too late," she says, voice wavering.

"[TK DIALOGUE ugh]." Luke steps closer, sensing the weakness she's falsified. She holds out her lightsaber. "[I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.] I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"

"Yes. Anything." He leans closer to take it.

Clutched in their hands, pointed towards his chest. Valo Ren activates the lightsaber, and

Luke pulled her out of the water sobbing.

.

Lightyears away from her, and each other, two people opened their eyes with a gasp.

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